Best of Family & Relationships
Best of Family & Relationships
"So Many Books, So Little Time!"
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Exclusive Interview with
Tony Jeton Selimi
When did you start writing?
The first time I started to write was at the age of five. Before starting school, I spent much of my time with my parents in Zenica, Bosnia and Herzegovina, where they owned a famous national cuisine restaurant. I remember when my father would take his breaks, he would sit with me at one of the best tables at the restaurant, teaching me maths and reading newspapers. By the time I started school, I could already read and write in three languages. Over the years, I wrote many essays, kept an occasional personal diary, wrote love letters and poems to express my feelings, and journaled my parents, siblings, and societal events that I knew in my heart damage your body, mind, and soul. During the civil war, we were under constant threat, and our letters were monitored back then by the communist and paramilitary regimes. To protect my family and me, the letters I wrote to my mum and dad were written using a unique language code that only me and my mum would know how to decode and read.
What makes writing your passion?
From a very young age, I was curious about life and wanted the answers to everything that life represented and to travel the world teaching and to educate others about what I’ve learned and mastered. As an author and avid reader of thousands of books, I love writing because I know books can give hope, change, transform and save people’s lives. My calling to write was always there, and it was a way to express that which was oppressed in me by culture, family and societal expectations. Writing for me is sharing my love for all that life bestows upon us to be of service to others. Many of the life adversities I faced equipped me with priceless lessons that I turned into effective methods, life-long transformative tools and new ways of thinking, being, and loving. Writing has enabled me to help others rediscover pathways to overcoming adversity, addiction, abandonment, anxiety, fears, phobias, stress, lack of self-control, own their authentic power, successfully transition from 9 to 5 to running a profitable business, empower your relationships, be a better leader, transform the culture in an organization, and give people a roadmap to living freely on their terms. I write books to share what the mysteries of life can teach us about who we are and what we are here to do. To teach people how to spend their time, energy, and money on what is most important to them, raise conscious children, attract the relationships they want and bring societies together, and can carry a powerful message for the betterment of humankind. The reader can use every book I have written to penetrate any self-imposed boundaries and limits so they live more balanced, healthy and peaceful lives. Book writing is and will remain an inevitable part of living an inspired life.
How long have you been writing?
Although I have been writing most of my life, I wrote and published my first multi-award-winning and best-selling book, A Path to Wisdom, in 2014. Since then, I have written four books, co-written two, and written many articles for newspapers and magazines.
What was the feeling when you published your first book?
I was overwhelmed with joy and love. I am not a parent, but publishing my first book felt like becoming a parent of a child that from infancy, will be travelling the world, making a difference and finding a safe home in people’s hearts.
What’s the story behind your choice of characters?
Over the years, through my integrated healing, coaching, mentoring, and training, thousands of people have created personal, relationship, professional, business and financial breakthroughs. I am fortunate that the equal heart-wrenching and inspirational stories used in any of my books are from clients who have wholeheartedly permitted me to share them to give others hope and help them achieve the seemingly impossible.
What annoys you the most in pursuing a writing career?
Not having enough time to write all the books I have in my mind and heart.
How do you get over the “writer’s block”?
A writer’s block is a form of imposter syndrome that, at some point in time, we all experience. The quickest way to dissolve a writer’s block that I use with all of my clients I have assisted in overcoming is to list one hundred drawbacks of not writing that book you know your heart and soul want you to bring into the world.
We all know the writer’s path is never easy, what makes you keep going? What advice would you give to new authors?
When the tough gets going in my writing career, what keeps me going is my lifelong determination to unravel the mysteries of life. To keep climbing greater heights no matter what was inspired by many of my life predicaments, especially during my childhood and army days when I was bullied, threatened, and lost family, friends, the country, and the identity I once knew. I experienced things no child or teenager ever should. When you believe you are unworthy of being someone and then discover that you are, it awakens an insatiable appetite for growth, knowledge, wisdom, and a desire to share and help others.
If you are considering writing as a career or a hobby, then be very clear about why you want to write, what message you want to share with the world, what makes you unique, and what is the end in mind. I get many authors as clients, and the common mistake I see is that they never ask for professional help when they start to write a book. I’ve taught many authors my proven book writing processes and helped them create the clarity needed and build a business and a stable platform from which the book and their work can be successfully launched worldwide. My advice to all I come in contact with is to invest all you have in all you want to create. Invest in yourself and get a coach. It is always an honour to coach and mentor fellow authors who are ready to write and would benefit from professional advice PA an e-mail at info@tonyselimi.com and book an initial coaching consultation.
If you could go back in time and talk to your younger self, what would you say?
I love you for all that you are, and you are not.
Do you read your book reviews? How do you deal with the bad ones?
Of course, I love giving and reading reviews. I deal with negative thoughts in the same way as I deal with negative people. I acknowledge them, thank them for their valuable feedback, and use it as a transformative process to own those traits I judge in them that I’ve disowned.
What is the feeling when you get a good review?
I am blessed to have received thousands of wonderful personal messages, letters and reviews on Amazon and various social media sites. A good review is knowing that your books are changing someone’s life; it feels like having a constant supply of energy and inspiration.
Have you ever incorporated something that happened to you in real life into your novels?
Yes, in all my books, I share insights and lessons from real-life stories that shaped me into the man I am today. When I wrote #Loneliness, I decided to first openly talk about my journey through loneliness and the side effects that affect us all. In doing so, I started receiving thousands of messages from all over the world from people who shared their journeys with me and how the book inspired them to change their lives and live more connected and love-infused lives.
Which of your characters you can compare yourself with? Did you base that character on you?
Every client story I share has an element of me going through similar life events that caused similar frustrations, pain and the stress they came to me to help them overcome.
What do you think, the book cover is as important as the story?
The cover is like a doorway that gives the reader's imagination a glimpse of what they may find inside your book. When I published my first book, A Path to Wisdom, the core message was to give people a clear path that leads them to create a work-life balance, a healthy body, and find inner peace. The book's cover was designed to give you that assurance and feeling of calm, certainty, and balance. When you pick any of my books, the cover tells a story that invites you to look inside and want to know more.
Do you connect with your readers? Do you mind having a chat with them or you prefer to express yourself through your writing?
With an expansive vision and mission in life, my time is focused on activities that help me deliver my work for the benefit of the many. When time permits, I do personally connect with readers and chat. At times of too many requests, my team takes care of them. I summarise my thoughts on their proposals and share them through my writing articles and books, creating videos, speaking engagements, TV, Radio, and Podcast interviews and creating inspiring content on social media.
How do you feel when people appreciate your work or recognize you in public?
I feel gratitude for all of the pain I endured to bring me to this present moment of being blessed, loved, and an inspiration for other people’s transformation.
Who is your favorite author? Why?
Every author’s book I’ve read has profoundly impacted my life; thus, I love and appreciate each one of them. The author that positively influenced me when I was going through the darkest periods of my life was James Redfield, especially his books The Celestine Prophecy and The Secret of Shambhala. It helped me better understand the power of synchronicity and what life teaches me about myself.
What’s the dream? Whom would you like to be as big as?
My dream is to be New York Times Most Famous Best Selling Author, have my books translated into many languages, and globally share insights, lessons, and methods on most watched TV shows and most listened to radio and podcast stations. For One Billion people to read my books, create lifelong transformational results, shape the evolution of human consciousness, and positively impact the world. As far as who I would like to be as big as, Louise Hay, Joe Vitale, Jack Canfield, Dr John Demartini, Oprah, Obama, Elon Musk, Richard Branson, Brian Tracy and Tony Robins are just some of the names that inspire me to keep growing and lovingly step into the shoulders of the giants.
Would you rewrite any of your books? Why?
Of course, life itself teaches us that nothing is constant. The more I learn, the more I am called to re-write any of my books. Why? Because with experience, research, and dedicating your life to unravelling the mysteries of life also comes new knowledge that is more refined and worth sharing so others can also benefit from the growth you’ve experienced since you first wrote a book. Since I wrote A Path to Wisdom, I have invested a lot of time, money, and energy in learning new things and coaching and mentoring thousands of people. That, on its own, has given me more significant levels of awareness and a new perspective on things that sometimes outdate the previous understanding. We constantly upgrade our technology; it’s wise to upgrade our mindset and our writing.
If you could switch places with any author – who would that be?
Ernest Hemingway
What would you say to the “trolls” on the internet? We all know them – people who like to write awful reviews to books they’ve never read or didn’t like that much, just to annoy the author.
Be mindful of what you say or do, as Karma gives back what you put out.
What would you say to your readers?
Thank you for investing your time and money to read my books. I trust they play a significant role in your life and support your ongoing development journey beyond the self. I’ve distilled more than three decades of study, research, and experience into the books I write so you can use them as a powerful medium to transform and elevate your thoughts, master your emotions, enhance your relationship with yourself and others, and most importantly to support you in the ongoing evolution of self.
May you be the conduit that carries the messages and the lessons they convey across great distances, and with your help and reviews, reach a broad spectrum of readers and, most importantly, help change and save lives.
Each of my books is written with one mission alone, to teach you empowering ways of thinking and mindfully responding to ever-evolving challenges that life puts before you. May they be a torch light that you can use when you find yourself in dark places to guide you back into the light and your heart.
Books have been here for centuries; without them, today’s knowledge of our past ancestors, cultures and civilizations would have been impossible. So I would like to take this moment to thank you for reading my books, sharing them with your loved ones, at work, and in your communities so that we can stand together and fight the collective problems we all face as we venture into the terra incognita.
Share a bit about yourself – where do you live, are you married, do you have kids?
I was born in 1969 in Gostivar, the Republic of Northern Macedonia, to a hard-working family. My parents owned a farm and were restaurateurs from an early age, instilled in me the importance that education plays in creating a world where the majority of people live happily, fulfilled, meaningful and prosperous lives. Unbeknownst to my parent, I was abused, bullied, and as a teenager, I was conscripted to fight a civil war I deep down despised. Miraculously my life was saved, and in 1990, with borrowed money, my mother put me on a one-way flight to London, where I found myself homeless and penniless. I worked many jobs to get a roof over my head, pay myself through education, and graduate from one of the top four engineering universities in the UK. On this journey, I discovered the power of gratitude, allowance, courage, and resilience. I learned to transform life's challenges into a gift of strength, awareness and endless questions for life's truths. Along the way, what came forward in me was a genuine kindness of being and a phenomenal knowledge that I now love sharing with the world. Three decades later, I feel blessed to live alongside the river Themes in the most beautiful part of London with my fiancé Dr Sc. Todorche Stamenov who is a cardiologist. We currently don't have children; we have an extended family we love. We are both open to co-parenting and being dads.
What is your day job if you have one?
My time is entirely focused on travelling and teaching, speaking, educating, coaching, consulting, training, and mentoring individuals from all professions and businesses from all market sectors to achieve their greatest aspirations and expand their frontiers of human awareness, excellence and potential.
What are your hobbies? What do you do in your free time?
I spent most of my free time with my partner doing things we love. We make sure we travel to new places around the world, cook fabulous meals, work out in the park, go for long walks and discover new cafes and exciting places in London or where ever we find ourselves. We love going to countries we've never been to before, swimming, sailing, salsa dancing, and gardening, to mention a few.
Did you have a happy childhood?
Overall, I had a happy, loving, and adventurous childhood filled with many beautiful memories. That said there were also dark periods that left me feeling vulnerable, alone, and at times fighting for my life.
Is there a particular experience that made you start writing?
In 2009, following the global financial crisis of 2008, I was made redundant from a job I loved and invested over ten years in. Having spent almost twenty years going from homeless to living my dream life, my entire life was collapsing, and once again, I find myself at the mercy of external circumstances. I no longer could sleep. I was anxious, depressed, angry, frustrated, and felt hopeless. During these times, I decided to take back control of my life's direction and got the inspiration to combine all I have learned into creating a series of self-mastery books. A journey that I am inspired to be on.
Do you have unpublished books? What are they about?
Yes, many. One is about how to become a genius, and the other is about dissolving grief, overcoming relationship heartbreak, the fast route to wealth building, successful transition from 9 to 5 to being your boss, and how to write books that support you to build a seven-figure business that transforms lives. I also want to write about the gift of adversity, the toxic effect of infatuations, how to become a famous person in your industry, and spiritually channelled poems, fiction and autobiography.
What do you think should be improved in the education of our children? What do we lack?
We have evolved so much since the traditional education system was set up. It’s time to upgrade and offer more flexible and hybrid solutions that are fit for purpose in today’s modern world, where soon Artificial Intelligence will surpass human intelligence. In my TEDx Talk: Technological Armageddon – A Wake-Up Call, which has over One Million views, I share some concerns and opportunities that we must come together to discuss and agree on. Wherever I speak at universities or schools, I hear the same complaints, lack of resources, rigid systems, insufficient teachers, underfunding, underperforming, lack of engagement, bullying, etc. We lack a clear vision of what the future of education will look like, a clear plan, and a strategy that delivers that.
If you were allowed 3 wishes – what would they be?
• Be interviewed on all the most watched TV shows such as Oprah, Ellen DeGeneres, Jimmy Fallon, Dr Oz, James Corden, Graham Norton, etc
• My partner and I have children with a friend who loves to be a mother, lives near us, and we co-parent. Travel to space, and have an incredible wedding in a beautiful location in the Mediterranean sea.
• Live a love-infused, healthy, happy, prosperous and fulfilled life and be honoured with an OBE from Queen Elisabeth for inspiring One Billion people to achieve greatness, succeed, and positively impact the world.
What is your favorite music?
Pop, Soul, Disco, House, and Latino Beats
Share a secret with us 🙂
I once dated a member of the royal family.