Ready to Be 30

Dirty Thirty

Everyone looks to turning thirty as this big,

horrible thing. Once you turn thirty, you are old as

hell and dusty. Your life is halfway over

(depending on your ethnic background). You are

not “young and popping” anymore because you’ve

reached that godforsaken age. Of course, that's

according to society and an immature mindset.

Low and behold, you are a single woman with no

kids or a man whose business has not yet hit the

roof. That’s most people’s perception of life. No

one is ready to hit that “Dirty Thirty.” It all falls

back to your state of mind.

In reality, thirty is the golden age when you put life

into perspective. Now, I know you’re reading this

and you’re like, “Girl, you’re tripped out! Thirty is

old as hell! I’m in my twenties, I’m popping, I’m

young, and life is hella lit! PERIODT!” Touche’. I

won’t and can’t say that your life isn’t the way you

say it is. But, you’re wrong. You’re hella wrong.

Yes, hella wrong. Now, don’t get defensive with the

truth. The truth is what we will encounter and

accept along this journey. You will learn to accept

the truth for what it is--nothing more and

definitely nothing less.

The Question

I know you’re wanting to know how right now.

How am I wrong about my perception of my life.

Why should I be “Ready to Be Thirty?” Out of every

age… thirty. Don’t trip. I’m going to tell you. First,

we must dig into the root cause of why you even

have that horrific perception of the age thirty in

the first place. All our lives people have asked us

the grand question, “Where do you see yourself in

five to ten years?” They asked that question all

throughout grade school by our teachers. I know

you remember your answers, too! If you’re a

woman, you said, “I see myself married with kids,

living in my dream home, driving a nice car, and

working at my dream job.” If you are a man, your

answer was: “I see myself rich, living in a mansion

with three cars and a baddie on my side.” Typical

responses for the sexes. Thing is, however, you

grew up. You’ve aged, you’ve experienced life, and

now you see that your life isn’t the picture you

painted for yourself. You answered that question

and you were one-hundred percent sure that you

would stand by it and live that life! That was the

only life you set out to live, right? You would be

that classmate that went on with their life and

made that response become your reality. There

was a lot of seriousness in the question. You had

to know what you wanted out of life before you

graduated high school! If you didn’t, you were a

waste, lazy, and didn’t care about life. Period.

Twenty-Something

Fast forward and you’re now in your mid-twenties.

You are reflecting on that question, realizing that,

right now, you are living in that five to ten years.

It’s sinking in that you are not married and you

don’t have any kids. You’re not rich. You barely

have a vehicle. You’re living with your parents or in

an overpriced apartment working hard to make

ends meet. Your life is not living up to the

response you gave when you were younger. You

are not where you want to be: nowhere even close

to it. You avoid your high school classmates and

teachers. Who wants to give the rundown of

where you're at in life when it’s not what you set

out for because we all shared our answers in class

and everyone knows what you said in response to

the infamous question, “Where do you see

yourself in five to ten years?” You tune in on social

media, seeing everyone living their best life thus

far. Trip after trip, post after post, car after car,

engagement after engagement: it’s all draining

and depressing for you because you’re in your

mid-twenties and you’re not there yet. You’re not

anywhere you said you would be. So, you beat

yourself up about it. You’re angry and frustrated

with life itself. You wonder, will you ever even get

there? You allow your thoughts to get the best of

you in the worst way, dwelling on where you could

or should be in life. Where’s my husband or wife?

Where is my nice vehicle? Where are my six

figures? However, you’re forgetting a major factor:

that you’re only twenty-something.

The Pressure

You are in the period of life where you’re figuring

it all out. You are learning who you are as a

person. You’re learning what you like and don’t 

Antionette Turner like, what you want out of life itself, how you’re

going to get there. You are in the trial-and-error

stage of life--the most frustrating and annoying

time of your life. You try and you fail. You attempt

again, but in a new way. You don’t like the

outcome, but it was better than the last time.

When will you get it just right? How long do you

have to keep giving your all just to get the

outcome you didn’t expect? Those twenties can

make you or break you. There is so much pressure

put on you by family members, friends, mentors,

and even yourself. The pressure is real and you

feel like you’re sinking deeper and deeper into a

place of no return. I can remember a time in my

early twenties where I was in a deep depressed

state. No one knew where I was mentally because,

outside of my room, I put on a massive façade. I

was down and out because I didn’t have it all

figured out. In my mind, I was in my twenties! I

should have my career by now, be engaged or

even married, living in a nice home with at least a

puppy if not a child. Instead, I was living in a

dormitory, single, struggling to pass my classes,

broke, and having to fake like everything was okay.

One day, I realized that I was only twenty-something! I’m still figuring it all out and that’s

okay. There’s nothing wrong with not having it all

together. I still have time. This is my time to make

my mistakes and learn from them. Now is my time

to learn about me! It is seriously okay that I’m not

where my mind feels I need to be.

Just…keep…going. Be patient!