Ready to Be 30
Everyone looks to turning thirty as this big,
horrible thing. Once you turn thirty, you are old as
hell and dusty. Your life is halfway over
(depending on your ethnic background). You are
not “young and popping” anymore because you’ve
reached that godforsaken age. Of course, that's
according to society and an immature mindset.
Low and behold, you are a single woman with no
kids or a man whose business has not yet hit the
roof. That’s most people’s perception of life. No
one is ready to hit that “Dirty Thirty.” It all falls
back to your state of mind.
In reality, thirty is the golden age when you put life
into perspective. Now, I know you’re reading this
and you’re like, “Girl, you’re tripped out! Thirty is
old as hell! I’m in my twenties, I’m popping, I’m
young, and life is hella lit! PERIODT!” Touche’. I
won’t and can’t say that your life isn’t the way you
say it is. But, you’re wrong. You’re hella wrong.
Yes, hella wrong. Now, don’t get defensive with the
truth. The truth is what we will encounter and
accept along this journey. You will learn to accept
the truth for what it is--nothing more and
definitely nothing less.
I know you’re wanting to know how right now.
How am I wrong about my perception of my life.
Why should I be “Ready to Be Thirty?” Out of every
age… thirty. Don’t trip. I’m going to tell you. First,
we must dig into the root cause of why you even
have that horrific perception of the age thirty in
the first place. All our lives people have asked us
the grand question, “Where do you see yourself in
five to ten years?” They asked that question all
throughout grade school by our teachers. I know
you remember your answers, too! If you’re a
woman, you said, “I see myself married with kids,
living in my dream home, driving a nice car, and
working at my dream job.” If you are a man, your
answer was: “I see myself rich, living in a mansion
with three cars and a baddie on my side.” Typical
responses for the sexes. Thing is, however, you
grew up. You’ve aged, you’ve experienced life, and
now you see that your life isn’t the picture you
painted for yourself. You answered that question
and you were one-hundred percent sure that you
would stand by it and live that life! That was the
only life you set out to live, right? You would be
that classmate that went on with their life and
made that response become your reality. There
was a lot of seriousness in the question. You had
to know what you wanted out of life before you
graduated high school! If you didn’t, you were a
waste, lazy, and didn’t care about life. Period.
Fast forward and you’re now in your mid-twenties.
You are reflecting on that question, realizing that,
right now, you are living in that five to ten years.
It’s sinking in that you are not married and you
don’t have any kids. You’re not rich. You barely
have a vehicle. You’re living with your parents or in
an overpriced apartment working hard to make
ends meet. Your life is not living up to the
response you gave when you were younger. You
are not where you want to be: nowhere even close
to it. You avoid your high school classmates and
teachers. Who wants to give the rundown of
where you're at in life when it’s not what you set
out for because we all shared our answers in class
and everyone knows what you said in response to
the infamous question, “Where do you see
yourself in five to ten years?” You tune in on social
media, seeing everyone living their best life thus
far. Trip after trip, post after post, car after car,
engagement after engagement: it’s all draining
and depressing for you because you’re in your
mid-twenties and you’re not there yet. You’re not
anywhere you said you would be. So, you beat
yourself up about it. You’re angry and frustrated
with life itself. You wonder, will you ever even get
there? You allow your thoughts to get the best of
you in the worst way, dwelling on where you could
or should be in life. Where’s my husband or wife?
Where is my nice vehicle? Where are my six
figures? However, you’re forgetting a major factor:
that you’re only twenty-something.
You are in the period of life where you’re figuring
it all out. You are learning who you are as a
person. You’re learning what you like and don’t
Antionette Turner like, what you want out of life itself, how you’re
going to get there. You are in the trial-and-error
stage of life--the most frustrating and annoying
time of your life. You try and you fail. You attempt
again, but in a new way. You don’t like the
outcome, but it was better than the last time.
When will you get it just right? How long do you
have to keep giving your all just to get the
outcome you didn’t expect? Those twenties can
make you or break you. There is so much pressure
put on you by family members, friends, mentors,
and even yourself. The pressure is real and you
feel like you’re sinking deeper and deeper into a
place of no return. I can remember a time in my
early twenties where I was in a deep depressed
state. No one knew where I was mentally because,
outside of my room, I put on a massive façade. I
was down and out because I didn’t have it all
figured out. In my mind, I was in my twenties! I
should have my career by now, be engaged or
even married, living in a nice home with at least a
puppy if not a child. Instead, I was living in a
dormitory, single, struggling to pass my classes,
broke, and having to fake like everything was okay.
One day, I realized that I was only twenty-something! I’m still figuring it all out and that’s
okay. There’s nothing wrong with not having it all
together. I still have time. This is my time to make
my mistakes and learn from them. Now is my time
to learn about me! It is seriously okay that I’m not
where my mind feels I need to be.
Just…keep…going. Be patient!