Completely Kaine & Venus
I lay in my bed, surrounded by the remnants of our lovemaking, lingering, reminding me of our latest backbreaking session. The sheets are wrapped around me, completely hugging my body, substituting for his touch. The sweet, pungent aroma of sex lingers in the air. I can smell Michael Bennett on my sheets, on my pillow, on my skin. My mind is flooded with so many thoughts right now, yet I can’t focus on a single one until I reminisce about how it all started. I met Michael last spring when my college was hosting a job fair and offering mock interviews for students. I was eager for a chance to practice my skills because I was preparing for internships. He was working in a booth with two of his colleagues, representing his engineering firm. While we conversed during my mock interview, I noticed that he was being flirty. I blew it off, thinking it was my imagination. We developed an easy rapport with each other from the beginning and made each other laugh. When he asked for my number, I was hesitant at first, but I couldn’t resist those hazel eyes. Our sexual relationship blossomed quickly after only a few dates. I liked being with Michael and appreciated his maturity. In the beginning, we mutually enjoyed being together. But lately, things have felt different between us—until tonight.
Michael Bennett is taking a shower in my bathroom; he’s actually in my home for the first time—ever. I imagine his wet, creamy, peanut butter skin, broad shoulders, and tight ass getting slick and soapy. I think about joining him, but when I try to sneak in, the door is locked. WTF??? I know he needs his private time but damn. When I knock on the door to talk to him, he acts as though he can’t understand me. Foiled again! I mope back to my bed and stay in place, alone with my thoughts.
I feel satisfied and happy, encouraged, about the future of our relationship. Michael is actually in my space. We were always at his apartment in the city. He would never come to my place in Brooklyn, making excuse after excuse for why he couldn’t, or wouldn’t, come. Michael would complain that my apartment was too far of a drive and that his place was centrally located to where we both needed to be. Once, he just stated, ‘‘I hate Brooklyn, Venus. I feel like I lose some cool points every time I drive across the bridge’’. Whatever! People who live in Manhattan are always talking shit about Brooklyn. There are many up and coming areas here; respect the hustle. Michael never had time to meet with my friends. My girls thought he was full of shit or that I was making him up entirely. We barely had any actual time to date and hang out with his busy schedule and starting his new software engineering firm.
Michael and I collaborated on his business plan from his original concept to opening day. It was mostly him, working the long hours necessary to put his plan into action. My focus was on branding, advertising, and establishing a social media presence. I was doing the right thing, helping my man to shine.
At last, Michael was here with me, the way I needed him to be. He was actually going to spend the night, I still can’t believe it’s happening. I don’t know what caused this shift in him, but I like it.
What does all this mean to him? What did this mean for us? That our relationship was finally ready for the next level? All of my doubts and second-guessing had led us to this point. I questioned everything about my relationship with Michael and never got the answers I needed; he merely placated my needs and my wants. When I would ask him if we could “spend more time together,'' or pleaded for him to “Let me in; I want more of you”, he would give me just enough to satisfy me at the moment. I internally questioned whether we had a future together, whether he reciprocated my feelings. Were we even a real couple? His presence in my apartment meant that he was finally listening to me and respecting my wishes. I was totally ready for all of this with him.
In these last few months, our relationship has dwindled down to business consultations and occasional sex. We tirelessly work on Michael’s business plan, making it the focus of everything we do. Tonight feels different, though, I could sense it in the way he made love to me just now. He had never before been so generous or giving sexually. Sex has always been good between Michael and me, of course, but he always seemed to hold back somewhat, never fully being in the moment. In the past, Michael was reluctant to share himself fully with me. Tonight I felt our shared intimacy; it made everything between us better, more sensual.
Michael being ten years older than I also meant that he was more experienced sexually. He’s been very patient with me and my lack of sexual experience. I love how he takes my body to new heights every time we are together. He loves how uninhibited I am with him. Yes, I’m his willing ingenue, open and available to whatever he wants. I’ve always felt connected to Michael since our first time together. I want all that Michael Bennett has to offer, seems to be finally ready to offer.
Finally, after what feels like forever, Michael emerges from the bathroom. He’s fully dressed, surprisingly; I thought he was spending the night. His face appears completely impassive, and I give him a questioning look. I know my confusion is evident as he sits on the bed. He kisses me soundly until I hum quietly to myself. When Michael draws back from our kiss, he looks somber and tense as if he’s about to tell me something really heavy, something that will forever change the trajectory of our relationship. The slow smile he wore earlier quickly fades from his handsome face.
“What’s wrong Michael?” I ask, feeling a pang of panic rising up in me. He looks away from me then up to the ceiling. He makes an audible groan, I’m dreading what might be coming next. He tightens his lips then proceeds to tell me his truth.
“Venus, you are really special to me. I have loved spending this time with you, and you have helped me tremendously and done so much for me personally and professionally in the last few months. You have helped to make my business dreams come true, and I’ll always remember you. I’ll always be grateful.”
I give him an incredulous look, not really sure where he’s going with his monologue.
“I’ve decided to go back to my wife, Venus. Just before I met you, I had been thinking about leaving her.” He lets out a low chuckle. “Our marriage had been in trouble for a long time; we weren’t connecting, and sex was non-existent. I didn’t want to be with her physically, and she didn’t want to be with me. For a minute there, I thought she was having an affair. Then, I met you. You were always so easy to talk to and fun to be with and made me forget my troubles at home. You were exactly what I needed at the time. I feel like we met at the perfect time in my life. But I’ve got to do the right thing, Venus; be the man I promised my wife I would be when we took our vows. I want to thank you for all you’ve meant to me this last year. I will never forget you and what we meant to each other. I will always smile when I think about our time together. Thanks again, Venus.” And with those final words, he kisses my forehead, rises off my bed, and exits my room, walking out of my apartment and my life.
What. The. Total. FUCK? I feel numb and tingly all at the same time.
My chest tightens and my breathing is labored. I’m locked in place, unable to move or blink. Did I mention I didn’t know Michael Bennett was married? I just sit here in utter shock and disbelief, staring at my bedroom doorway as if he would suddenly reappear. I’m not sure how long I sit like this, suspended in time and space. Waiting. Wondering. I am quietly spinning out of control, searching for something that would help me to just move. Slowly but steadily the tears begin to trickle down my cheeks until they become a tsunami that I can’t control. The torrent of emotions is taking me under, drowning me. I stop trying to wipe them away because it is useless. I am such a fool, how did I not know? How did I let this happen to me?
My mind goes back to those unanswered questions I had always wondered about Michael. Now, it all seems so clear. I finally have all the answers right in front of me, answers I have to accept whether I like them or not. Michael Bennett had turned me into the other woman without my knowledge or consent.