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Unseen Instinct

Unseen Instinct

Resilience and the Search for a Why after Murder-Suicide



Biography / Memoir

Publish Date

September 13, 2021

Short Description

A story about a tragedy from a young age to where I am presently.



The Winner

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My pain endures made even more inconsolable because of the question that remains. I still want to know WHY. The 5 Ws and the How approach creates an opportunity for mental organization, and it is available to anyone. If you are overthinking or overwhelmed, this is a good place to start. I know the answer to the Who, What, When, Where, and How. I still don’t know Why? The Why in this situation is difficult to identify. The Who’s voices are missing from the conversation. No one can explain or even provide clues because the What was a murder-suicide. How was through gun violence. When and Where are clear to comprehend but cloaked in the secrecy of a forbidden relationship. Maybe the Why is in the silence—peace for her. She is no longer burdened with the abusive cycle she was in with the fathers of her children. No longer does she need to endure the lack of love, affection, and belonging that she felt. But that Why explains the affair. It does not explain the murder-suicide. A lingering Why leaves her survivors with W and How questions extending from the Why. There is nothing there in the space where answers are supposed to be. It is a space that is not negative or positive. It is neither good nor bad. I don’t have peace. I miss her. But I cannot answer to upset her peace. She is resting in peace while I still want to know Why. This text is my open sharing to help others walk through their grief utilizing the 5 Ws and the How to organize their thoughts. Seek therapy. Find wholeness as much as possible. Pursue your dreams because that is the reason you are here. The lingering Why must be addressed through your continued seasons even if the loss is never explained and you never know the reason.

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