Racing heart? Check. Damp palms? Check. All signs indicate I’ve got it bad for Lady Isabella Blankenship.

It could be contagious, since Iz shows all the same symptoms. But what’s got her pulling back anytime things blaze between us? I know a modern-day duchess might have baggage from finding out she’s the illegitimate child of a dead American philanderer with more kids than morals. But Izzy’s on edge, and there’s more to it than run-of-the-mill culture shock.

Turns out I’m not the only guy drawn to her. She’s shadowed 24/7 by protective siblings, an amorous pig named Kevin, and a deadly-looking stranger skulking around Ponderosa Resort. It’s more drama than I’ve seen since my days as an Army doc, so I’m happy to lend Iz a shoulder or any body part she needs.

But what are my odds of diagnosing what ails Izzy before my royal crush makes a run for it?